just like New York*

"you'd love (insert name of a city here)... it's just like New York" ...

you have no idea how many times I have heard these words...

from the mouths of friends, family members, co-workers, even from a lady who was sitting next to my best friend and I in a cafe in Vancouver while I was rambling on about my beloved city.

When I am told this comment, I often wonder if the person saying it has actually been to nyc, or if they are basing it on what they know from t.v, movies, and hearsay.

I have been lucky in my life to have had the opportunity to travel to many, many cities and I can honestly say ( in my opinion, anyways) that none of those cities have been "just like New York"

they have all been beautiful, but

no other city has ever left me breathless for days on end...

Home*

of all the places i've lived, this place feels the most like home...

My Gratitude List

following my conversation with my dear friend last week, i did as she asked. i kept a journal with me to write down everything i have to be grateful for and everything that made me joyful. now, while i don't think i got everything down, i definitely got her point... i have so much in my life that brings me joy, happiness and fulfillment. just because i am not at the same places all my other friends are does not mean my life is not going in the right direction. there is no plan, no formula to follow. just embrace the journey and enjoy...

here is a sample of my list (i won't post the entire thing, it's 8 pages long ... i am incredibly blessed)

things that i am grateful for:

a roof over my head / a bed to curl up in every night / a kind-hearted, soulful man who tells me every day how lucky he is to be my father / a bright and shiny mother who never stops making me laugh / a sassy glamazon of a sister / a best friend with a heart of pure gold/ an aunt who accepts me for exactly who i am / two beautiful boys who make me feel so incredibly special and blessed to be their big cousin / my creative spirit / three very special women i work with that make every day a joy/the opportunity to take photographs of my beautiful friends and family members/the two years spent with a group of the most passionate and creative theatre artists, who also became a second family to me/my mentor and the blessings and lessons he continues to bring into my life

" For today and it's blessings, I owe the world an attitude of gratitude"
- Anonymous

stuck*

I've been stuck lately. stuck in a bit of mess that I just can't seem to work myself out of. I was out for coffee with a dear friend (df) this afternoon, and our conversation went like this;

"df: baby, what's wrong with you lately?

me: nothing, why?

df: that light is gone... that sparkly light you always have in your eyes, it's gone. what's wrong?

me: i just feel stuck is all. i keep digging and digging, searching for something or a way to be unstuck... ( the tears start flowing)

df: what is it that you're searching for?

me: I don't know... my life maybe. something to call my own. someone to love, and someone who loves me back... all around me, people are getting married, they're having babies, they're living these great lives... and me... stuck. (talking through rivers of tears now)

df: baby, you listen to me ... you have a great life and so much to be thankful for. you are so very blessed, and don't you ever forget it. you have friends and family that love you. do me a favor. go home and write a list of everything that you are grateful for, and don't leave a single thing out. keep that list with you for a week and every time you feel joy and something makes your day even a tiny pinch better, you write it down. by the end of the week, you'll see..."

so here i am with a blank page in my journal and a pen, and I will keep it with me for a week to write everything down. my dear friend, you and your friendship are the first thing on my list...

what i love about sundays*

"Cat-napping on the porch swing; You curled up next to me,
The smell of jasmine wakes us up.
Take a walk down a back road, Tackle box and a cane pole;
Carve our names in that white oak,
An' steal a kiss as the sun fades,
That's what I love about Sunday"

-Craig Morgan

i love sundays... there's no expectations for anyone to be productive. sunday is a day where you feel comfortable enough to stay in pyjamas and curl up with a good book, and no one will say anything. in fact, they will probably wish they would have done the same...

i spend most of my sundays with my family. family breakfast, lunch or dinner. if i'm really lucky i will spend the morning having breakfast with one group of family, and have dinner with a second group. we are big on nourishing each other and there is nothing we enjoy more than sitting down together for a great meal and even better conversation...

i am happy to say it is my turn to cook dinner this week! so the white chicken chili is simmering on the stove and the homemade dinner rolls are ready to go in the oven when company arrives. if you lovelies have any favorite recipes that you would like to share, please do! i am always looking for new things to try and we are not a picky bunch...

wishing you a lovely sunday - xo

the city that stole my heart*

dearest nyc,

you had my heart the first time i laid eyes on you. you had always been a dream in my heart. a place that combines amazing theatre, great shopping and indescribable beauty... how could i not adore you?

what i didn't know is how quickly you would sink into my bones, into the very heart of me. you made my heart sing from the moment i stepped off the plane.

you changed me... for the first time in my life, i felt like a woman. not a young girl trying to find her way in this big world. I had found this amazing corner of the world and felt so happy to be a part of it.

i'm coming back to visit you this year, and i feel like i'm coming home. i want to spend time wandering your busy streets and photographing your unmeasurable beauty. i can't wait to see you again.

with love,

-S

piece of the world

every morning
i would wake with the fear
of this day being our last...
i could feel the beating of your heart
and see the rise and fall of every breath...
i would lay as still
as i could
for fear i would wake you
and end our perfect piece of the world...
i spent those
early morning hours
memorizing every piece
of you.
one morning,
at some point
during my intense study,
you woke,
pulled me close,
and asked me
"can we stay like this forever?"
"can you love me that long?"
and with a deep sigh
came an unexpected answer...
"longer..."