Sunday, May 1, 2011
I've been stuck lately. stuck in a bit of mess that I just can't seem to work myself out of. I was out for coffee with a dear friend (df) this afternoon, and our conversation went like this;
"df: baby, what's wrong with you lately?
me: nothing, why?
df: that light is gone... that sparkly light you always have in your eyes, it's gone. what's wrong?
me: i just feel stuck is all. i keep digging and digging, searching for something or a way to be unstuck... ( the tears start flowing)
df: what is it that you're searching for?
me: I don't know... my life maybe. something to call my own. someone to love, and someone who loves me back... all around me, people are getting married, they're having babies, they're living these great lives... and me... stuck. (talking through rivers of tears now)
df: baby, you listen to me ... you have a great life and so much to be thankful for. you are so very blessed, and don't you ever forget it. you have friends and family that love you. do me a favor. go home and write a list of everything that you are grateful for, and don't leave a single thing out. keep that list with you for a week and every time you feel joy and something makes your day even a tiny pinch better, you write it down. by the end of the week, you'll see..."
so here i am with a blank page in my journal and a pen, and I will keep it with me for a week to write everything down. my dear friend, you and your friendship are the first thing on my list...